


Not Alone

by Lafaiette



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 13:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5541623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafaiette/pseuds/Lafaiette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite her expression, though, her words are tender, loving. He heard them before.</p>
<p>“Not alone.” she says. “I won’t let you die alone.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

He sees a little girl, dressed in simple and patched clothes, run through a forest. Her giggles echo among the tall trees, reaching the green roof of leaves above her head. 

She is too young to wear _vallaslin_ yet. A blessing, which will be soon taken away from her once she is old enough and she won’t be even aware of that.

_Ignorance is bliss_ , a sneaky voice whispers into his ear, but he ignores it and continues to observe the child.

He recognized her immediately: he saw those same eyes countless times in the past years, he knows that nose and lips, her hair and ears have no secrets for him. 

She runs and runs, a memory of a so distant - yet so near - time and someone calls for her - _Da’len, da’len!_

She is a child, but she will grow up and that small, tender life will become a strong, steadfast leader: a tree, similar to the tall ones that now surround her, with countless branches and roots to embrace and protect everyone around her.

He will be one of the first people to see and experience that change. He will be the only one who will be allowed to enter her warm heart and grow alongside her. 

_Like a cancer, poisoning her from the inside_ , the voice insists and he walks away, leaving the memory of the child behind.

He finds her again: some years have passed and she has her _vallaslin_ now. Radiant and brilliant, she helps the clan and continues her simple life, ignoring what lies behind the aravels, what the woods and the sea hide from her eyes, what the sky is about to become.

He sees her laugh, argue, cry, sleep, eat and he falls in love with her for the umpteenth time.

_Look how happy she was_ , the voice tells him. _You ruined this too._

He sees her bow her head when she passes by the Dread Wolf statue in her camp and his heart aches. Shame and guilt overwhelm him and he looks away, knowing that she did that many times during her life, fearing his name, fearing his jaws.

_The Bringer of Nightmares_ , he thinks, a familiar title attached to another one that he accepted and considered worthy of his cause.

A fool, he was, and a fool he still is. 

The next scene he finds is not a memory, but it hurts him all the same, even more. 

_This is what she could have had_ , the voice murmurs as she dances with her groom and the whole clan celebrates their union. A world without Breach, a world without Inquisition, a world where he is nowhere to be seen, a world without magic, but where her left arm is wrapped around her husband’s waist.

More shame and guilt arrive and he watches the happy couple with a timid, regretful look. The husband’s face and body change and he sees himself dance with her, both dressed in the style of ancient Arlathan.

_This is what you both could have had_ , the voice continues, magic and spirits entering the scene, their friends and companions clapping and cheering. 

_But the Wolf failed and won again and you lost her to the din’anshiral_.

The dance ends and she looks at him, her left sleeve empty and loose. And it’s terribly ironic that here, in the middle of peace and love, where their eternal bond is being celebrated, she steps back and her expression changes into sorrow and panic.

He saw this before, but in a different way. This did not happen - _this won’t happen_ -, but he was the one who did this to her once, in that world where they met and he ruined everything again.

Despite her expression, though, her words are tender, loving. He heard them before.

“Not alone.” she says. “I won’t let you die alone.” and even if the Solas dressed in rich clothes thinks she is repeating their marriage vows, he - the Solas observing the scenes, the real Solas - remembers and chokes on a silent sob.

_Vhenan!_ , he would like to scream, but he has no voice here, no words to command the Fade to stop and tell the demons to leave him alone. 

He wakes up with a gasp, wheezing as his lungs struggle to take in air and let him breathe. He can’t see well and his eyes burn. His ears are ringing and his bones and flesh are on fire.

There is blood pooling under his body and he sees more on the ground as he slowly raises his head. There is a strange sound in the air, a constant humming that reminds him of the old world, but it’s not as beautiful as he remembers it to be. He distractedly remembers angry, familiar faces, a terrible rage, a revenge that struck the one he held most dear too.

Then he sees her, a limp figure fallen down. Her hand is reaching out for him, but she isn’t moving.

He drags himself on the bloody ground, the edge of his vision blurring with tears and darkening. He can’t breathe well and his heart is threatening to explode, because he fears he won’t be able to reach her in time.

“ _Vhenan_ …” he calls, voice raspy and too low, desperate and filled with tears, regret, and pain. “ _Vhenan_ …!”

He manages to brush his fingers against hers and he desperately pushes forward one last time, successfully grabbing her hand. He falls down again, just barely aware of the blood trickling down his face and mouth.

“ _Ma vhenan_ …” he repeats, stroking her fingers, her face the last thing he sees before his eyes go dark. 

And there, at the end of the _din’anshiral_ , he dies with her.


End file.
